Going For What You Want

I'll be honest, I don't know what I want anymore. For the last six years all I could think about was wanting to become a doctor. I would write on boards at church camp that to spread God's light that I would go on medical mission trips and help those who need it. I would tell everyone that I was going to be the first doctor in my family, and they all asked me to find a better treatment for arthritis (no joke). But now I have no idea if I still want that.

I spend so much time studying The breaks in between classes are spent studying in the union. Nights and weekends are spent at the library with friends and sisters. I'm not sure if I have the passion for medicine anymore. Chemistry has killed my passion. It's hard to come to terms with that, and I hope that something else will bring the passion back because I still want to be a doctor, but the passion is gone. I'm not meant to be in a chemistry lab doing stoichiometry problems. I'm meant to be learning about anatomy and how the different systems correlate with each other.

I'm meant to be Meredith Grey. I'm meant to be great and doing something for others. I just don't know how to get there anymore.